Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Things that seem normal but aren't, Part 2

Continuing my occasional series, "Things that Seem Normal But Aren't" I've got some new ones to add to the mix:

4. Woody Allen movies. Woody Allen is a creepy old guy who literally married his own long-time partner's step adopted daughter [see discussion in comments]. Ewww doesn't even begin to describe it. So I guess it's no surprise that Allen's latest movie, Whatever Works, follows the contours of his life. The plot courtesy of Wikipedia:

Boris Yelnikoff (Larry David), an eccentric, misanthropic University of Chicago graduate and chess teacher from Greenwich Village, finds a young woman (Evan Rachel Wood) from Mississippi lying on his doorstep. He takes her in for the night and eventually marries her, despite their 40 year age difference and their clashing cultural backgrounds. His philosophy on the matter is that life is short so he might as well enjoy himself.

Perhaps the weirdest thing about Woody Allen movies is the adulation he receives from old (creepy) white male reviewers -- like this embarrassing gem from Richard Corliss at Time Magazine:

Not again, we hear you groaning. Another Woody Allen movie that propagandizes crabby old guys attracting cute young women. This is not a comedy scenario; it's a criminal offense, right? Except that in Whatever Works, Allen has taken his usual ingredients--mismatched pairings, the collision of the bitter and the sweet, an abiding love for Dixieland jazz, classic Hollywood movies and his hometown--and somehow made his freshest film in ages. After four pictures abroad, two of which (Match Point and Vicky Cristina Barcelona) were pretty good, the 73-year-old writer-director has found new vigor and warmth in his old surroundings. Melody's perky nature rubs off on Boris and on the entire enterprise. No kidding: this is the feel-good movie of the year and a cinematic soul massage.
"Soul massage" -- riiiight. It's glorified mainstreamed pedophilia and it's just flat out weird that it passes for normal in our society.

5. Las Vegas. Imagine a mutual fund that publishes its returns and shows that you will lose at least 2% a year and will likely lose much more than that. And then imagine that the mutual fund company tells you -- don't worry about losing all that money -- it's gonna be fun!!! And then imagine lots and lots of people telling you how excited they are to invest in that mutual fund on weekends. Very strange indeed.

Even the hugely successful ad campaign, "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas" -- seems an odd allusion to the fact that the "What" in question is your money -- and it will definitely be staying in Vegas. Compare the excitement of people flying into Vegas with the depressing scene of people leaving Vegas and you'll wonder why folks continue to believe that losing money intentionally is fun. Somebody is paying for those pretty buildings and all of those blinking lights and that someone is us.


Anonymous said...

OK, first of all, Woody Allen is a genius. Full stop. He's one of the most brilliant artists the world has ever known, and it's not just "white male reviewers" who think this, it's EVERYONE (aside from idiots like yourself).

Secondly, your entire post is completely irrelevant because Woody Allen did NOT "literally marry his stepdaughter". His current wife was the adopted daughter of his girlfriend (with whom he never lived, by the way), and he never had anything remotely approaching a paternal relationship with her. Got that?

I look forward to reading your retraction, you ignorant shit.

RFK Action Front said...

Ah yes, point taken, but it seems like a small point indeed. From Wikipedia:

"Starting around 1980, Allen began a 12-year relationship with actress Mia Farrow, who had leading roles in several of his movies from 1982 to 1992. Farrow and Allen never married, but they adopted two children together: Dylan Farrow (who changed her name to Eliza and is now known as Malone) and Moshe Farrow (now known as Moses); and had one biological child, Satchel Farrow (now known as Ronan Seamus Farrow). Allen did not adopt any of Farrow's other biological and adopted children, including Soon-Yi Farrow Previn (the adopted daughter of Farrow and André Previn, now known as Soon-Yi Previn). Allen and Farrow separated in 1992 after Farrow discovered nude photographs Allen had taken of Soon-Yi. In her autobiography, What Falls Away (New York: Doubleday, 1997), Farrow says Allen admitted to a relationship with Soon-Yi.

After Allen and Farrow separated, a long public legal battle for the custody of their three children began. During the proceedings, Farrow alleged that Allen had sexually molested their adopted daughter Dylan, who was then seven years old. The judge eventually concluded that the sex abuse charges were inconclusive, but called Allen's conduct with Soon-Yi "grossly inappropriate"."

Okay so Allen was banging his girlfriend's adopted daughter not his legal step-daughter. You're not creeped out by that?

As far as your assertion, "he never had anything remotely approaching a paternal relationship with her," please see the following quote from Woody Allen himself (in a 2005 article in Vanity Fair)

“If somebody told me when I was younger, ‘You’re going to wind up married to a girl 35 years younger than you and a Korean, not in show business, not having any real interest in show business,’ I would have said, ‘You’re completely crazy.’ Because all the women that I went out with were basically my age. Two years younger. Ten years was the maximum. Now, here, it just works like magic. The very inequality of me being older and much more accomplished, much more experienced, takes away any real meaningful conflict. So when there’s disagreement, it’s never an adversarial thing. I don’t ever feel that I’m with a hostile or threatening person. It’s got a more paternal feeling to it."

Good times.

Anonymous said...

Seriously Woody Allen might be a "genius" but he is a pervert.

You have obviously chosen to excuse it because of his "genius," but you don't find it concerning that he was in the life of his current wife since was 10? Think about it with common sense. It is very naive to think that she did not view him as a father figure. Now she might embrace it but there was some form of manipulation going on there.

You may think the author is ignorant but you are very naive.