tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12798432.post6516029743962495088..comments2024-03-21T03:51:26.136-07:00Comments on RFK Action Front: a theory on relationshipsRFK Action Fronthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13367576871260141948noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12798432.post-29924418761661515952010-04-18T13:33:36.105-07:002010-04-18T13:33:36.105-07:00Thanks for the comment Anne! Yeah I think it woul...Thanks for the comment Anne! Yeah I think it would help enormously to have this conversation early early in any relationship. In fact I think it should be a first date question and a job interview question: what is your ideal as far as how this relationship should look? And if there is not a match, then no harm done, everyone can save themselves a lot of agony by just moving on. <br /><br />Unmatched intensity feels like a part of this question about the platonic ideal and also something unique unto itself perhaps? Maybe one party (in a romantic relationship) thinks an ideal relationship is characterized by unrelenting white hot intensity. But the other party may assume that all relationships are characterized by ebb and flow and that such variability is good and normal. And then, even if there is a lot that is working well in the relationship -- the underlying different assumptions about how the relationship should look will cause a lot of pain. But as you point out, the more the deep underlying values and assumptions are explored and shared, the better it's gonna be for everyone. <br /><br />I'm not really sure what to do about wildly mismatched platonic ideals in the body politic. Political separation often seems to involve civil war and such. But I do think acknowledging the wildly different hymnals the various sides are singing from is helpful -- and provides a slim chance of finding a higher synthesis.RFK Action Fronthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13367576871260141948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12798432.post-6337431201813991992010-04-18T08:54:18.486-07:002010-04-18T08:54:18.486-07:00Totally agree... I think this is important groundw...Totally agree... I think this is important groundwork to do in new relationships. I was working on my own theory of equality in relationships... when there are uneven feelings of attraction or being into the relationship, that seems to be an issue. But if both parties know that and are okay with it, maybe it doesn't matter as much as the shared vision. I like this!!! :)Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07826199396162187652noreply@blogger.com